72 to County Line

Alabama nights been good to me.

Dusk driving down 72 to County Line to home

Knowing damn well I’ve had almost too much wine.

If I have nothing but those nights then I know that I will have had cheap wine and rich laughs with real friends.

That is enough for me.

But, I’ve got a head full of desires and a heart full of gratitude.

And while it’s the prior that drives me to better,

It is the latter that makes me whole.

It is the latter that reminds me to live in the moment I’m in,

To enjoy the view while it’s still there, while I’m still here.

While I can still turn every mundane moment into a scene that came straight out of one of those old black and white films.

While I am still able to sit at my friend’s dining room table, dissecting our week and pouring our $4 Trader Joe’s wine like it’s a bottle of 1969 Chateau Lafite.

On that drive from 72 to County Line to home,

Windows down while the wind keeps me company and my speakers rattle a hello,

I don’t feel alone here quite like I used to.

It could be the wine that warmed me up or the smile that is stuck on my face from the laughing.

Or, it could be that I am finally home and

I’ve come to learn that home isn’t a place, but rather a feeling.

I find that feeling on my drive from 72 to County Line to home.

And I can’t quite exactly describe it, but it feels like

Love.

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If you have been keeping up with my posts, you understand the struggle I have felt since moving 900 miles from home. If not, I am sure you can imagine the loneliness I have felt. There are times, even 4 months in, that I still feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness. However, there are also times when I can take a deep breath and smile. There are times I can't believe I've built a world for myself and that I have created the life I have. It is far from perfect. There are times I'm far from content and I feel so out of place, but I also know that I need to just be still sometimes and enjoy the moment I am in. I need to look at where I've been, who I'm around, and the little things that make me smile during my day. Most of the time, I feel that peace when I am driving at dusk or dawn down County Line.

It's so important to find those little moments of content and really resting in that feeling. Sometimes, our world will feel chaotic and we won't be able to easily find our joy. It is when we look back at those moments that we will be able to gain a bit of hope to keep pushing us forward.

I hope you enjoyed getting to see a bit of insight into my heart :)