Sometimes He Calms The Storm

Hey, it's me! I know it's been a while, around a month to be exact. I apologize. Working retail around the holidays is absolutely hectic. Between a new second job, 11 hours shifts, and trying to maintain a social life, I have been kept BUSY! If I'm being honest, my busyness has been a way of distracting me from my hurting heart and my overthinking mind.

Regardless, because of all I have been dealing with, I have had a hard time connecting with God. I show up to church every Sunday, listen to worship music in the mornings, and make sure to do my devotional. I've still felt totally alone and disconnected from Him. During worship, I find myself replaying my issues in my head, unable to connect with God in the way I once adored. During prayer, my mind wanders to all that is causing me anxiety and my devotionals feel like just meaningless words on a page.

Despite my struggles to connect with God, I have come to realize two important things:

1. Sometimes, you have to fake it till you make it.

2. God is always there, even when you don't feel Him.

Let's talk a bit about that first point. Faking it until you make it isn't an uncommon idea, but I feel like it doesn't have the greatest reputation among Christians. All too often, there is a belief that if we have to fake it as a Christian, our faith isn't genuine. Here's my opinion on that. There is a difference between a fake faith (which is what we want to avoid) and a wavering faith (which is unavoidable). When we have that wavering faith, it's important that we continue to pursue God and His will even if we don't feel Him working. Hence the "fake it until you make it". I'm not saying fake your faith. I am saying that if you must fake confidence in each step you take towards God's will for you, do it. Keep taking steps even if you feel your knees buckling and your hands shaking. Keep your eyes on Him even if your mind wants to wander to every anxiety you are facing. My path has felt extremely unclear. I am constantly worried that I uprooted my life for no reason. However, I keep moving. I keep my eyes focused on God and I trust He has a plan, even when everything in my mind is telling me to doubt Him.

The other thing that I have seen is that God is always here. Within one week, the guy I was seeing ended things, I got into a small accident (with rather large consequences) and had a little bit of a "midlife" (yes at 23, I had a midlife). I felt like everything that kept me going, had been ripped from right out under me. When the boy had left, I knew that I at least had my car and a job I enjoyed. Then, I learned that my car would fail me and I realized my career path was the exact one I swore to stay away from. I saw the things that gave me happiness disappear right in front of my eyes. I was desperately clinging to the little bit of faith I had in God and His will for my life. Around this time, church was no longer a place of peace but just another item to check off my to-do list. However, prayer became very important to me. I needed someone to talk to and I was hoping God would listen. While there was never any super clear "Hey Macy I am here!", there has been a sense of peace that I never expected to feel in the midst of all of this chaos.

Now, mind you, none of these issues have been resolved and I still feel sadness and I feel it often. But, I have a sense of hope for the future and a confidence in God's plan for my life. I get excited when I think about all God has in store for me! Actually, today was the first day in a month that I was able to lift my hands and close my eyes during worship. It was the first time in a while I felt God stirring my heart and challenging me. I could almost hear God saying to me "Just wait. I am here and I love you." Despite how my human heart feels, God is above those feelings, and therefore, my faith should be above my feelings as well. God is unmoving and unchanging. When the storms of life start spinning around me, God is there protecting me.

When I was growing up, I would constantly have this one song on repeat. It was called "Sometimes He Calms the Storm" by Scott Krippayne. In the chorus he sings,

Sometimes He calms the storm and other times He calms His child.

These lyrics have been an anchor for me to hold fast to. God has all the power to calm the storm surrounding me, but that doesn't mean He will. Sometimes, He will simply walk through it with me. This song means so much to me that I want to leave you with the full lyrics as well as a link to it. I ask that if you are struggling with a storm in your life, you listen to it and ask God to speak through the lyrics.

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Sometimes He Calms the Storm

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPWRbbUqo5Y)

Scott Krippayne

All who sail the sea of faith Find out before too long How quickly blue skies can grow dark And gentle winds grow strong

Suddenly fear is like white water Pounding on the soul Still we sail on knowing That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm With a whispered peace be still He can settle any sea But it doesn't mean He will

Sometimes He holds us close And lets the wind and waves go wild Sometimes He calms the storm And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial That we pass through in life And though we're shaken We cannot be pulled apart from Christ

No matter how the driving rain beats down On those who hold to faith A heart of trust will always Be a quiet peaceful place