Time Is Money

Invest in the people that matter to you, but give everyone a fair chance.

I have heard the phrase, "time is money" most of my life. It never quite clicked what that meant until I moved out on my own. I had always known that time is limited, but had yet to experience how limited money truly is. Because of that, I don't think I was actually aware of how precious time is and how important it is to "spend" it wisely.

Before graduating, I felt each day pass by and knew the clock was ticking. I felt the sadness that went along with the closing of a chapter as May quickly approached; as goodbye became a word I'd too soon have to say to so many people that mattered to me. While all these emotions paralyzed me at night, it also clarified a lot for me. I took a step back and looked at who I focused all my time on. I had wasted the first semester chasing a boy who doesn't matter now and I didn't want to make that mistake. When you take a good step back to look at the people in your life, it's easy to see the key players. For me, it was my core friend group and a few of my guy friends in the gym. I noticed that when I began investing in the people who were just as invested in me, I got so much happier. My life felt like it had some sort of meaning and purpose and I had so much more joy. When determining who I wanted to invest in right before and after graduation, I noticed three main trends in them:

1. People who strengthened my relationship with God.

2. Those who made me smile.

3. My friends who told me the truth. Even when it hurt.

Throughout college, I struggled with my relationship with God. I was very hot and cold with it and I truly believe that who I chose to hang out with, affected how I saw God. Freshman year, I was on fire for the Lord and attending church regularly. That stopped beginning of sophomore year for me. At the beginning of my senior year, I was fortunate enough to meet my lovely friend Asher. He invited me to go back to church with him and pushed me to look at the world through a biblical lens. I felt like I was allowed to be open about my faith without any judgment and I became more confident in knowing God's plan for me. I realized once my faith became important to me, my friends who supported me, supported how important God was to me as well.

This second one feels obvious. Surround yourself with people who make you happy. I know you hear that often but it is very important. When I think about the people who make me happiest, I think of my best friends and my sister. They make me smile and laugh often. However, when I think about who I oftentimes direct my energy towards, it's the people who bug me. I think more about the people who've hurt me and made me cry than I do about the ones who can make me laugh regardless of my mood. Why choose to surround myself with and think about people who don't offer anything but confusion and hurt? Be friends with people who make you laugh often.

Finally, and most importantly, surround yourself with people who tell you the truth no matter what. This is something I look for in every relationship of mine, platonic and romantic. As someone who is very self-aware, I know that I can be be very fire-y and a bit dramatic at times (okay like very dramatic often). I need someone who will tell me that I need to pull it together. Good relationships and friendships balance each other out. I recently heard that a good friend will tell you the hard truth, but they will also be open to hearing the hard truth because they know it's coming from a place of love. That resonated with me. When my best friend looks at me and tells me I'm in the wrong, I know it's coming from a place of love so I hear her out. I respect her enough as well to take her words into HEAVY consideration. All this to say, If you want a friend who will tell you the truth, you also need to be the friends ready to hear the truth.

Having someone who's honest with you will help keep you accountable and it will also push you to be the best version of yourself. My dad likes to tell me that you become who you hang out with. Personally, I want to only get better and better. In 5 years I want to be able to see how much I've grown. I also want to be the friend who inspires others to be better versions of themselves!

Since I walked onto High Point's campus 4 years ago, I know I have changed. I have seen myself morph and grow into the woman I am today. However, I notice the most growth my senior year when I took a good look at who I was surrounding myself with. I watched myself become happier and more confident. I suppose that in the end, my dad was right (surprise surprise).

The second part of my first statement is to give everyone a fair chance. If I had written off the RA who lived with me junior year, she would've never became my best friend (and the girl pictured next to me in that picture before you clicked on the post). I would've never gotten to share so many laughs with her and make so many memories that, to this day, get me through my harder days.

Quick side story: Oftentimes during the week, Sydney and I would crave Starbucks so we'd get in her car and head to Starbucks. We'd get two venti sugar-free iced vanilla lattes with two pumps of hazelnut and almond milk. Sydney had asked me to pick her up from the airport so I decided to leave with enough time to be able to pick us up our favorite Starbucks order. As I drove up to where she was, with my cupholders filled with two iced coffees, I noticed her standing there, hands full. I started laughing immediately. In her hands were two iced coffees, same order, same idea. She opened the door and started dying. I remember her looking at me and saying, "we're such givers". To this day, that story still makes me smile but there are so many other memories I have with her that bring joy to my day.

The point of that story was, yes to brag about how awesome my best friend is, but also to show a balanced friendship. We think about each other and we show how much we matter to the other. That day it happened to be coffee (it's honestly usually coffee). Friends should invest into you as much as you invest into them. It's truly 50/50 or 100/100, however you prefer to look at that.

Beautiful friendships can grow from the least expected places. Give everyone a chance, but truly invest in those that matter.

The picture of Sydney and I was taken by my talented mom, Shannon McFerren.

She can be found on instagram @shannonfabulous

https://www.instagram.com/shannonfabulous/