Fearfully and Wonderfully
- Macy McFerren
- Aug 14, 2023
- 5 min read
Wear whatever you want for YOU. Your clothes aren't meant for other people.
As a culture, we have put such a heavy emphasis on appearance. I get it. How we look is the first thing that people will notice about us, which is why we so heavily stress about our hair, makeup, clothes, and so on. I believe this presents two very apparent issues:
How much we care about ourselves
How much we care about others
This can go either way really. We can care too much and we can care too little. Oftentimes, it is the first that is the issue. Putting our best foot forward is important and something we should be doing. But there is a difference between putting your best foot forward and obsessing over always being put together. When you put your best foot forward, it's typically for a reason and while it can be stressful, isn't a thought that is always weighing on your mind. Stressing over your look is constantly in the back of your mind. This may not look like wearing dresses for everyday errands, but it could look like 5 outfit changes, having to stick to a certain "aesthetic", or absolutely not being okay with leaving the house in sweatpants. The Lord tells us in 1 Peter 3:3-4 that our beauty should not come from our outward appearances, but rather our spirit. When our hearts are set on the Lord and our gaze focused on Him, we will always radiate beauty and grace. We need to spend more time working on what is inward than what is presented outward. Another verse, notably more quoted, Proverbs 31:30, says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.“ It is okay to want to look pretty and to want to dress up nice. What matters is that we don't let that define our beauty and worth. When we understand that, we stop putting so much stock in what others think, it becomes easier to dress for ourselves, and it becomes easier to dress as a daughter of God (that is a whole other topic for another time though and one I may never delve into because if I'm being honest, it's something I struggle with).
We have all caught ourselves judging a person based off of their outfit, hair, tattoos, piercings, etc. I know I do! Whether we think, 'she must be really cool' or 'she and I would never be friends', we all make snap judgements. Most of the time, we never end up speaking to these people; we never get to actually talk to them and more times than not, it is our judgmental nature that stops up. This week, I was at my gym early in the morning. There are never very many people, but there is one girl there. She always just stared at me with the meanest RBF I had ever seen. She appeared to be strong and fit. I wanted to be her friend but that glare led me to think, 'she is a bitch' and instead of opening myself up to talk to her, I shut down the idea of a friendship immediately. Luckily for me, she wasn't so close-minded as I and instead approached me and started complimenting and talking to me. During our short conversation, I realized she was very nice and friendly. She wasn't harshly judging me but instead wanting to talk to me. I realized I was the harsh one. My rash judgment had killed a relationship before it even got the chance to bloom.1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'” The Lord isn't interested in another person's clothing, height, status, hair, or mean RBF, but instead their heart. If that is God's focus, why isn't it always ours? Why do we let clothing brands dictate a person's worth when God has called all of us His children. Isn't that more important?
At the same time, we can't let the looks we get from others tear us down. My sister, mom, and I have always struggled with the glances and eye rolls we'll often times get from other women in the church. I have several visible tattoos and my sister and mom enjoy luxury items. Neither of these dictate our hearts but for some reason, they are enough to warrant judgement from ladies who don't know us. For the longest time, this deterred me from church. If God is love, then why are His people so judgmental? The first issue is that I was pointing out the speck in their eye while ignoring the plank in my own. I was quick to place myself above them because they judged me. I chose to ignore my own judgmental habits and focus on theirs instead. In other words, it was a pot meet kettle scenario. Second, God is love; He is perfect love because and only because He is perfect. We are called to mimic the love of God, but we are not God. We are flawed and human. Our love does not always mirror God's. The church is just as flawed as the sinners in it but that doesn't change God's perfection or character. We should be going to church to praise the perfect Him and not to cast judgment on the imperfect members.
When we release ourselves from the fear of what others will think of us and focus on what God will, we begin to truly fall into who we are meant to be. It is okay to have a favorite brand and what to look pretty but when that becomes an idol, it becomes a problem. I've also realized that when we spend less time concerning ourselves with others and their appearances, the happier we become with our own. A friend of mine once told me that girls in the gym are cattier than guys, who uplift each other and encourage one another. To me it was obvious; when women get insecure, our knee-jerk reaction is to tear the other down. Our fear of being criticized is due to the fact that, oftentimes, we are insecure so we are harsh towards other women. When you switch your mindset not only will your view of yourself change, but your view of others will as well!
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.“
Psalm 139:14
Comentarios